When Discipline Feels Out of Reach
I have a confession: I struggle with being disciplined in my personal life.
When it comes to my career, I’m consistent. I show up day after day, prioritize what needs to be done, and hold myself accountable. But in my personal life? That same drive sometimes disappears—especially when it comes to the gym.
Before COVID, the gym was something I genuinely looked forward to. But once the world shut down, something shifted. What used to feel energizing started to feel like a chore. Even when I pushed myself to go, I often got bored or disconnected halfway through. Of course, afterward I always felt proud and grounded—but getting there took so mucheffort.
Over the past few years, I’ve noticed this pattern showing up in other parts of my life, too. COVID changed more than our routines—it changed our attention spans. Social media exploded, and with it came the constant pull to stay stimulated, entertained, or distracted. Somewhere along the way, we lost the quiet satisfaction of doing something just because it’s good for us.
These days, I have to check in with myself more often. To slow down. To notice the small moments of gratitude or joy that are easy to miss when life moves too fast.
Lately, I’ve been trying to rebuild that relationship with movement. I’ve started easing back into running—something I never thought I’d say. In school, I was the kid trying to sneak past the PE teacher during the mile run because I just knew I wasn’t fast enough. For me, running used to mean punishment, not progress.
Now, as an adult, I’m learning to approach it differently. My goal is to eventually run a half marathon, but for now, I’m starting small. My physical therapist once told me I couldn’t run because I lift my right shoulder and create tension in my back. So, I’ve been slowing down—watching my posture in the mirror, jogging gently, and focusing on form over speed.
It’s a humbling process. And honestly, the hardest part is the boredom.
But I’m learning that boredom isn’t the enemy—it’s a teacher. Sitting with it, jogging through it, showing up anyway—those moments build something deeper than motivation. They build self-trust.
Lately, I’ve also been making space for a digital detox—cutting back on social media and the endless scroll that chips away at my focus and well-being. It’s been a reminder that mental health isn’t just about what we think; it’s also about how we spend our time and what we give our attention to.
If you relate to this—if you’ve ever found it easier to show up for others than for yourself—you’re not alone. Discipline isn’t about perfection. It’s about noticing when we’ve drifted, and gently bringing ourselves back.
