Getting to Know Your Inner Parts: An Introduction to IFS

When life feels overwhelming, it’s often because different “parts” of us are pulling in different directions. Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy is one way of understanding these parts—not as flaws or problems, but as protectors that are trying their best, even if their strategies sometimes make life harder.

Let’s meet a few common parts many of us carry:

The Anxious Part

This part is always on the lookout for danger. It worries about the “what if’s,” runs through every possible scenario, and often makes even simple decisions feel exhausting. Sometimes, when the anxious part feels overloaded, it swings the other way—it shuts everything down, leaving your mind blank and making it hard to find words.

The Doom Scrolling & Shopping Part

This part wants quick relief. It grabs your phone, scrolls endlessly on TikTok, or clicks “buy now” for something you don’t really need. In the moment, it gives a small dopamine hit—but later, it can leave you feeling drained or regretful.

The Shame Part

This part shows up when things don’t go as planned. Maybe you overspent, made a mistake, or just felt “not enough.” Shame comes in quickly, making you feel small, stuck, and unworthy. It often carries heavy memories from earlier times in life when you felt judged, blamed, or alone.

Meeting These Parts with Self-Energy

IFS also teaches that we have something deeper than our parts—something called Self-energy. Self shows up with qualities like calm, curiosity, compassion, and courage.

Instead of fighting with your anxious, doomscrolling, or shame-filled parts, Self can approach them with gentleness:

• “I see how hard you’ve been working to keep me safe.”

• “I understand you want me to feel better quickly.”

• “I know you’re carrying a lot of hurt.”

From this place, healing begins. The parts don’t have to work so hard or swing to extremes, because they finally feel seen, understood, and cared for.

Why This Matters

IFS invites us to look at ourselves differently—not as “broken” or “too much,” but as people with many inner voices that are all trying to help in their own ways. When Self takes the lead, these parts can soften, relax, and even transform.

If you’ve ever felt torn between worry, numbing out, and shame, you’re not alone. Learning to recognize and care for your parts can be the first step toward a gentler, more balanced way of being.