Healing is Not Linear- Even for Therapists
Healing is not a straight line.
There isn’t a point where you “arrive” and never get activated again.
Even as a therapist, and as someone who has been in therapy on and off for many years, life still happens. I still get triggered. I still have moments where my nervous system is more reactive than I’d like it to be.
That doesn’t mean something has gone wrong.
It means I’m human.
When Life Stacks the Deck Against Your Nervous System
There are so many factors that can quietly increase how sensitive or activated we feel:
Lack of sleep
That time of the month
Skipping meals or not eating enough
The state of the U.S. and the world
Carrying emotional labor for others
Ongoing stress that hasn’t had space to discharge
Any one of these on its own can be manageable. But when they stack — which they often do — your nervous system has less capacity to tolerate additional stress.
So the small thing doesn’t feel small.
The comment lands harder than expected.
Your reaction surprises you.
This isn’t a personal failure. It’s physiology.
Therapist First? Or Human First?
I’m a therapist.
But before that, I’m a human.
I make mistakes in my personal life. I say things I wish I’d handled differently. I have moments where the parts of me that are trying to protect me come out fast and strong.
And when that happens, the work isn’t to shame myself or “do better next time.”
The work is to pause.
Pausing Instead of Pushing Through
When I notice myself feeling activated, I try to slow things down and ask a few gentle questions:
What does my nervous system need right now?
Which parts of me are showing up to protect me?
What are they afraid would happen if they didn’t step in?
What would help me feel even a little safer in this moment?
Instead of trying to get rid of those protective parts, I focus on understanding them. Offering compassion. Letting them know they’re not wrong — they’re responding to something that feels real and threatening.
That shift alone can bring more regulation than forcing myself to “calm down.”
Healing Isn’t About Never Getting Activated
Healing isn’t about becoming unbothered.
It’s about noticing sooner.
Pausing more often.
Responding with curiosity instead of criticism.
It’s about learning how to come back to yourself when life pulls you out of center — again and again. Progress looks like repair. It looks like reflection. It looks like meeting yourself with kindness when old patterns surface.
And sometimes, healing looks like saying:
“Of course this is hard right now. Look at everything I’m carrying.”
A Gentle Reminder
If you’re feeling activated, reactive, or overwhelmed, it doesn’t mean therapy “isn’t working.” It doesn’t mean you’ve gone backwards.
It means you’re human — with a nervous system doing its best to protect you.
And that’s not something to fix. It’s something to tend to.
When your nervous system has been under strain for a long time, it can be hard to do this work on your own. Therapy isn’t about preventing activation — it’s about having support as you learn how to notice, respond, and come back to yourself with more ease. If you’re curious about what that could look like for you, therapy can be a gentle place to begin.
